Sure thing, here it goes:
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You ever get stuck thinking about who the genius was that first mixed peanut butter and chocolate? It’s like, whoever that was, could they be living it up now? Or maybe they ended up like some forgotten soul in The Wire, just getting a basement gig after a hearty slap on the back. No clue, honestly. But sometimes, an idea just smacks you in the face, and you think, “How has no one done this before?” That’s how I felt every time my crew and I dashed back to our time-traveling ship, while handling those pesky Time Reapers. Seriously, how did nobody say, “Hey, let’s roll Overcooked and Gears of War into one” before Pizza Bandit came along? No idea, but here we are.
Okay, so here’s the setup for Pizza Bandit — you’re Malik, a former bounty hunter turned pizza dreamer. Except, surprise, you’re dragged back into bounty hunting because some scam hit your pizza shop, and your old crew needs a rescue. The writing’s a bit bonkers, but honestly, that only adds to the charm. I can’t take issue when a robot named Albert, who upgrades your gear, admits he can’t apologize for taking my shop, all because he’s “just a robot.” Or when my pilot rambles about missing the fog. It’s goofy, but that’s just the seasoning.
Now, you ain’t just any bounty hunters. You’re time-traveling bounty hunters, leaping across space and ages to get things done. Don’t ask me how it works—pizza heals, bullets do damage, and the Time Reapers, ruinous time invaders, are pizza-haters. Yeah, really. Not cool, Reapers.
Pizza Bandit spices things up by not just focusing on blasting baddies; it’s got that chaotic cooking element like Overcooked. Our first mission threw us at the Restaurant from Nowhere. Sounds mysterious, right? Our task: make pizzas for other crews and shoot them through time pods—literally. You’d whip up pizzas, check drink orders, pack everything, and somehow juggle all this while fending off Time Reapers. Who apparently aren’t fans of local businesses. Funny, huh?
And here’s the Gears of War in action. Those Reapers aren’t there for a chat. They’re relentless, so you answer violence with bigger violence. Tried out plenty of Pizza Bandit versions, and trust me, the arsenal is wild. Start with a simple rifle or minigun, and as you complete gigs, get outrageous stuff like a disco-ball bomb. Oh, and the sentry turret is chef’s kiss. But ever consider slicing Reapers with a human-sized pizza cutter? Life-altering experience. Believe it.
The Reapers? They’re a quirky bunch. Standard ones rush you. Then you’ve got creepy crawlers, Terminator types leaping at you, hammer-wielders, fireball throwers—whole freak show. Prioritize or perish, simple as that.
When the crew’s clicking, it’s a beautiful mess of shouts: “Pepperoni pie needed!” “Who’s got the Coke?” amid gunfire. Really tests your teamwork when you summon a rocket pod of supplies, deciding its drop point carefully. Strategy matters, people!
Oh, and the first level? Just a taste of the mayhem. In another level, you’re at a sushi joint, managing a conveyor with goodies. Sometimes you’re chopping a big tuna, dodging Reapers, other times, you’re making an egg roll. Keep up, or customers (and Reapers) leave you flat.
Pizza Bandit’s kitchen chaos aside, there’s this tomb level. You’re navigating traps for a sarcophagus with magical heart-stopping puzzles. Jetpacks come in because, duh, it’s the only way to haul tomb relics.
It’s not even all food-related, mind you. Think guarding a cabin with Dr. Emmert Browne (wink to Back to the Future fans) as he finishes the time machine. Keep him warm, wade through a barrage of Reapers — maybe Wendigos — all to protect the timeline. Reapers don’t grasp paradoxes, evidently.
At times, get this, you’re drilling into a vault with near-explosive results for a cookbook with reality-twisting recipes. Safe, right? But a Pizza Bandit’s got a job to do, exploding drills notwithstanding.
And let’s talk pseudo-Breaking Bad antics. Cooking “magic powder” in chickens. Freshly-killed only. Ludicrous, yes. But endlessly entertaining.
Between gigs, it’s back to the pizza hub, where you soup up your gear, jazz up the decor, or whip a pie for stat boosts. The milk carton backpack is classic, though I’m eyeing that cat one — a bandit’s always on trend. Yep, work’s never done when you’re a Pizza Bandit.
Funny thing—I didn’t realize how much I needed Pizza Bandit till PAX a couple of years back. It was this game everyone buzzed about but didn’t quite believe till they played. Once that controller was in my hands, bam! Magic. Never thought I’d want this mashup, but after playing, I’m sold. Pizza’s healing, bullets fly, and Pizza Bandit just crushes it. Hope Jofsoft lands the endgame. Looking forward to that New York slice of gaming goodness.
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